


Undeserving

by Devilish_lokibus



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Episode: s01e06 Rare Species, Gen, alternative ending, basically what happens in canon but a little sadder because... why not?, but not a happy one, just a little something i wrote after watching the show, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 08:41:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30103302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devilish_lokibus/pseuds/Devilish_lokibus
Summary: "If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands!"Or, if Jaskier had fought back a little more.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion
Kudos: 12





	Undeserving

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno what to tell you... this is a little sadder than the show version, but it too ends with Jaskier leaving.

"If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands."

He could see the exact moment his words sunk in. Jaskier's face did something funny, something he had never seen before, not in 22 years of companionship. It looked like his eyes shattered into pieces and within seconds Geralt could see the tears forming, but not spilling. Yet. He knew immediately he had fucked up completely this time, but before he could say anything, Jaskier clenched his hands into fists, shaking in- pain?

"Right ... right—," his voice broke as he stumbled over his next words, "—I'll go get the rest of the story from the others."

He turned away and Geralt was just about to turn himself to try and keep from running after him, from embarrassing himself even further than he already had, but all words were lost in his throat when Jaskier whirled back around. 

His eyes, glittering like the sea, held anger. The devastation, the hurt, the desperation that flashed across his face punched Geralt in the gut. Some part of him wanted the pain to be physical. At least he could cope with that.

"You know what?", Jaskier had to take a breath to keep his voice steady, to keep the tears from falling, "In all those years I've followed you... after— after all those monsters you killed, I've never known you to be  _ cruel _ ." He shook his head slowly, as if finally realising something. "Maybe I just didn't want to see what is right in front of me?" His wet laugh cut through the wind like a freshly sharpened knife. "I guess, it is really as they say—'' he swallowed hard, trying and failing to pull himself together, "love ... changes people. But to be honest, Geralt—"

The witcher saw the exact moment when his eyes changed. When the endless blue turned to an icy wall of steel and the bitter smell of fury mixed with that of anguish.

"I'm not sure if that between you and Yennefer is  _ love _ . Can be called love. I'm not even sure anymore if you are able to  _ feel  _ such deep emotions, because apparently I don't know you at all!" 

After he turned that time, he didn't turn again. His breath came out as angry puffs as he left and Geralt could clearly smell the salt from his falling tears, even though he couldn't see them. His heart lurched in his chest, hammering too fast against his ribs. It took every ounce of control he had to turn to the valley and not follow his bard to apologize. Yen was right; he destroyed people. He destroyed everything in his path and couldn't let himself have nice things. Nice things are not for witchers.

Nice things are not for monsters.

**Author's Note:**

> here's my tumblr :)  
> <https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lokibus>  
> 


End file.
